


The Shadow in our Swamp

by fictional_universe, Real_live_trash, TheDarth



Category: Dora the Explorer (Cartoon), Shrek, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, The white house - Fandom
Genre: Butt Sex, Crack Fic, Gay, Kink Exploration, M/M, Sex, Slow Burn, failed daddy kink, shrek x obama, shrek x shadow, sin - Freeform, strangers to lovers to enemies to lovers to coworkers to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:30:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictional_universe/pseuds/fictional_universe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Real_live_trash/pseuds/Real_live_trash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarth/pseuds/TheDarth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shrek lives alone in his swamp but what will happen when a lost hedgehog wanders in. Will Shrek make a new friend, or will they possibly become more?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>please help me</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Shrektacular Meeting

Shrek was tried, he spent a long day in his swamp laying in the cool mud and scaring people away. Suddenly he heared a russled in the bushes near his hut!  _Whats that?_ Shrek thought. It better not be a human! At the bushes shrekked looked oveer them to see none other than Shadow the Hegehog! "WHAT ARE YE DOING IN MY SWAMP SHADOW?!" Shrek yelled.

"idk i got lost, went too fast. tress got unfamiliar then i was heere, but y r u yelling?" shadow asked his bloodred eyes glowing faintly in the moonlight.

"oh, that makes sense" shrek said, his anger fading as he got cought up in the blood red dazzling eyes of shadow the hegehog, "my names shrek"

"shadow" shadow said holding his hand out for shrek to shake his bloodred eyes meeting shreks swampy green ones.

"you have nice eyes" shadow said seducively.

"thanks" said shrek

Shadow walked into shreks house, "Wat are you doing?" Shrek yelled

"i'm hungryy" said Sadow and gave shrek a puty face, "can i plez haz food?"

Shrek sighed, Sathow looked so cute when he pouted like that, it made him want to,,, shrek shook his head. "fineeee he said. i will maike you food"

"YAY!" The black hegehog said "i bet you're a really good cook"

"i am" shrek boasted proudly

Shrek started cooking

"Mmmmmmm that smells yummy" Shadow moaned

"It will be, i even used my special seasoning, just for you" shrek winked

Shadow smirked seductively "sounds delishous"

"it will be" shrek said stirring the specially saesoned stew.

Jusgt then Obama bursted through the door

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD CHEET ON ME SHREK" Obamama yelled through the tears falling from his beautiful brown eyes.

"wat" said Shrek suprised because him and Obamamama broke up a week ago.

"I knew it!" Obamamamama said, "He's your new bf isn't he!" he said pointing at the black form of shadow who was watching the entire thing

 "yes" said shadow kissing Shrek pashunately.

Obamamamamama scremed so loud the windows in shreks hut broke sending glass everywhere.

Shrek through his large greeeen o0gre body over shadpw to protect him from the flying shards.

wen the finally stooped shrek looked at Obamamamamamama "Get out, me an my new bf don't want to see you ever again"

Obamamamamamamama started crying, even more tears dripping from is large anime eyes that shrek had once loved, he ran out the door leaving a salty puddle behind him on shreks dirt floor slowly turning it into mud.

"So are we boyfriends now?" shrek asked.

"Do you wanna be?" shadow responded licking his lips seductively.

"i dont know" was Shreks bashful reply, hsi green face turning pink from embasisment "we just met today"

"true, but i've never felt this kind of connection before" said Shadow

"Same here" sad shrek

They bothe clothed their eyes and leaned in, shadow not feeling shreks lustrous lips on his opened his eyes. Shrek was gone!


	2. Shadows Shadowy Speculations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shadow has doubts as dark as his soul.

Shadow didnt felt shreks smooth ogery lips on his and sobbed.. What had happened . He had been glad glad that running threw the forest led him here. It was desnsity. Or so he had thoaought

"Shrek bby wats wrong??" the midnight hued hedgehog exclaimed...tears spranging to his bloodred eyes. He screamed when he couldnt find his green bodied bby anywhere. 

"Am i not gud enough 4 you" he thout sadly, greif overcoming him  
Maybe this perfect ogre didnt want him after all. Shadow was just a lonely hedgehog. Who was he compared to that kawaii beauty  
"That ogre be mine" a dark voice siad, tearing through shadows dark thoughts

Shadow felt rage run throuw him chasing away the greif fastly.  
It was Obamamamamamamamama!!!!!!!!  
Wat did he want ?  
"Wat do u want" shadow asked  
Obamamamamamamamamama grinned at him, watching shadows tears.

"I want my man back" he said to shadow. Then he disapeared into the darkness of shreks love hut. Shadow gasped in surprize, wishing he were gasping for other reasons. He just wanted his green spulmate back. 

Shadow streatched preparing to run fast. He wood get that hunky ogre back or he wood die tryings!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry what is this??????  
> -Sarah G  
> @Sarah R good luck


	3. Green and Brown = Mud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shrek and Obamamamamamamamamama try and talk things out

Shrek opened his swamp green eyes "ugh" he complained "where am i" for he did not know  
"where is my hot super sexi hegehog?" he asked himself  
"you will never see him again" a voice said  
"whos there?" shrek asked his normally scary ogre voice sounded afriad.  
the voice did not respond.  
But then suddenly Obamamamamamamamamamama stepped out of the corner making Shrek jump out of his green ogre-y skin.  
"u scarred me Obamamamamamamamamamamama" shrek said startled "why are you here??"  
"you shud love only me" said Obamamamamamamamamamamamama  
"WHAT" shrek ghasped  
"you were about to KISS him" Said Shreks former love "Ur a CHEETER"  
"i brok up wi..." shrek started to say but then Obamamamamamamamamamamamamama kissed him! right on his green lushous orgre lips!  
Obamamamamamamamamamamamamama then started to make out with his face! It was so gross! Shrek felt his former bf's slimy tounge in his mouth, it felt lik he was trying to choke him! Shrek tried to push Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamama away with his big ogre-y muscles but it didn't work. Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama must've gotten big muscles too! Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama finally stopped making out with shrek. "do you wanna tak this too the bedroom?" he said  
"No ur crazy and we brok up for a reson" shrek stated  
"Pleeeeseeeee" said the crazy ex bf with the face he knew Shrek count resist, he widened his big brow anime eyes and looked at shrek sadily  
"Fine" Shrek said  
"Yay" Said Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama and they went to the bed room.  
They taked their cloths off and were naked in fron of each other. Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama grinned as he saw shreks manhood, "i forgot how big your peepee was" he said seductively.  
Shrek was proud of the monstrus size of his penis and was almost looking forward to destroying Obama's ass with it. He had't gotten layed in a while and was very horney. Dispite their relationship being over Shrek could't deny that Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama was hot. His partner moved towards him and started making out with him again but this time shrek liked it. Shrek made out back and it got super sexi and shrek orgasmed just from Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama's toumge in his mouth getting his hot ogre sperm everywhere. Shrek wasn't done yet, ogres can orgam many times before getting tired and he wanted ro wrek Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama's ass one last time. He spun his bedmate aroud and shoved his monstrus ogre cock right into his ass. Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama scremed because shrek didn't use lube or strech him before putting his peepee in him. It hurt him so much but it felt so good. Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama orgasmed just from the feeling of the ogres giant green cock percing him all the way to the core. He was tired now from the force of his orgasm but shrek kept going his large green dick hitting Obama's special place every time and Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama orgasmed again but it hurt so he scremed. "Shrek pls stop" He cried, but he did not use their safeword and shrek new he could take more so he kept thrusting into obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama's small ass with his jiant cock and it felt so good and shrek oregasmed again. Feeling his partner fill his butt with his man juice Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama orgamsmed again shreking at the top of his lungs making all the windows shatter again. Both of them were tired now so they stopped. and just then Shadow bursted in! Seeing his love covered in Obamamamamamamamamamama's jucies he scremed "i thought you loved me!"

"he made me do it" shrek said putting the blame on Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama like it wasn't his horrible life choices that got him into this mess

"oh" said shadow "in that case i have to kill you Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamaamamamamama"

But Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamaamamamaamamamaamamamamamama was gone, only a plie of mud was where he stood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm literally crying writing this, why did we agree to this again? But for some reason I can't stop. i feel so dirty, I'm sorry Mr. President  
> -Sarah R  
> Ps good job dude i loved his super kwaii-ness XD lolz  
> i feel so gross just saying that, this is a mess  
> Good luck making this more of a mess Sarah G :)))))


	4. ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get steamy

Shadow gaped at the pile of mud that Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamaamamamaamamamaamamamamamamama left behind. That was r00d, somone had to clean that up now. not shadow though, he didn't have time for that. he had an ogre to save.  
"Hello shrack" he said, greeting shrek.   
shrek shook his large green head, clearing away the thourghts of the other man. he was shadows now.   
"lets go to the beech" shrek decided for no reason.  
"Okie" the midnight hedhehog agreed because he luved shrek sooooo much and would do anything for him  
When they got to the beeach shadaw relaized they didnt have anything to wear  
"That's okay" shrek laughed, beautiful green abs flexing as he did "Im cofrtable with my body" Any he stripped!!! Shadows had nevar seen a more beutiful sight than the majestic god standing before him. he blused, though it was hidden bneath the fringe covering his bloodred face. The edgehog removed his Black Veil Brides t-shirt and stood before his bae nervously. He had never been nacked with anywon before.   
"Ur cute" Shrek whispered, leaning down to the hedgehogs face. Bloodred eyes met shreks stunningly gorgeous ones and both of their hearts stopped for a moment. It was incredible. shadow let out a breath he didnt even know he was wholeding when he tore his gaze away.  
"Okai" The small midnight man said seductiveally "Wat do u want to do"   
Shrek stood tall, placing his hands on his hips, emphasizing the large thingy between his legs.  
"Let's play volleyball" he said   
"Okaiy" Shadow replied, blushing fearcly  
They startted to play vollegally, shadow using his speed and shrek using the streangth of his beutiful muscles. they were evenly matched until shadaw saw the sweat dripping down shreks tonned bbody. Shadow suddenly felt very hot.  
"Shrek letss go home" he said, not able to keep his eyes from tracing a drop of sweat faling down shreks muscular thigh. he swallowed deeply.  
"But i wanted to stay" shrek said pouting, and at that face Shadow couldn't contol himself anymoree.   
He lanched himsealf at the large ogre. they both feel into the sand, shadow on top of shrek, stradling the thighs that had started this whole mess.  
"Let's have sum sex" Shadow purred   
"Okayy" Shrek said wiggling his eyebrows in a way that made shadow hot all over. They wre already naked so they wasted no time.   
Shadows lips finally met shreks full wons andthey both sighed in pleusure. it was purefect after such a long weight.   
"OOOOOOH" shrek moaned as he ogerasmed all over shadows furry body. Shrek had very little stamina but shadow didnt mind. he loved him anywayis.   
looking down at the size of shreks dick shadow gulped. that was big. he didddnt know how Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamaamamamaamamamaamamamamamamama had done it.  
"Im going to top" Shadow told shrek confideantly.  
"Alright" Shrek said, looking up at shadow threw half lidded eyes "Get inside my swampy depths."   
shadow had to concientrate on not couming right then it was so sexi.  
Shadow stuck his penis into shreks swampy depths and moaned loudly .  
"Is it in?" Shrek asked becasue he was a horrible person.   
Shadow blused nodding. He has a hedgehog. It wasn't his fault his peepee was so small.   
Shadow throst into the green god below him  
"Gotta go fast" He muttered to himself but shreek must have liked it becasue he moaned. shrek was avery kinky ogre.   
Shadow was about to cum so he screaamed "Gotta cum fast!" before emptying iside teh large ogre.   
Shadow was very proud of huimself.  
"call me daddy" he told shrek  
he heard dobs from bneath him and looked at shrek who haddnt cumed a second time.  
"Why r u crying bby" Shadow asked.  
"I never knew my dad!" shrek exclamed, tears mingling with the sweat alreay on his face.  
Shadow glaned at the poor orphan and was about to reply when he hearded a voice!!  
"I'm gonna swipe your man"   
Shadow knewed that voice. It wasn't Obamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamaamamamaamamamaamamamamamamamama though!! It wass his enemy!!!! Swipper!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wtf I am dead. I truly am.   
> @ Sarah R good luck m8


	5. Swipe ur man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus, but we're back in action, and so is shrek ;)))))

"What r u doing here swipper" asked shadow r00dly.

"i jus wana see my pal budddy skrek" swipper said "he wuz my fuktoy first"

shadow gasped "HE IS MY" THE EDGELORD YELLED

swipper grabbed shrek, "he is mine now" and swipper swipped shadows man

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHADOW YELLED and ran after them "GOTTA GO FAST N FURIOUS"

but shadow and his sexy ogre were gone

"y does everyone want my man" shadow asked

SUDDENLY OBAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMASHOWED UP

OBAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMMAAMAMAMAMAMAMAMMAAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!! Shadow exclaimed for he was surprised to see the sexy president

"it's because hes sooooo sexi" the man said suductively and then vanished. Shadow was confues where did eneryone go?!! Why did everyone want his man?? He fell into the sand where he and his ogre has sex and fell asleep. He would save shrek tomorrow. Too many people were trying to steal him and the edgy hegehof was tired.

meanwhile.... 

"Wut r u doind swippper" asked the booger green ogre, u brok up with me bcuz u couldn't handle my sexy orgre body

"i can now" said swipper eying the ogres nacked bod. "Ur mine now" said the foxy foxx

"ok said shrek.

they frenched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to be like 90000% more tired for this tbh, my shitposting is not as up to par as it was before.  
> Enjoy,  
> -Sarah R  
> Sorry it took me so long but ut turn Sarah G


	6. A Swarthy Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shreek and Swiper have fun ;)))

Shrek felt his exes lips on his and groned. wowie. he had fourgotten how much he enjoyed thhe the foxy fox. 

he kissed back ogerly and felt himself give in to the othr man.

"Ohhhh" he moaned. Shrek felt bad that he wasus cheating on his boyfreins but it was okay be cause his edgehog didnt need to know.

Swipper grabbed shreks large butt and pushed closer to the iresistable ogre.   
things escalated faster than an escalator and soon enough clothes were gone and noting was lest between shreks warts and swipers fur. It was a good feeling.   
shrek heard a door creak open and glanced up. oh no? what if it was his spikey fuck buddy. he wood be mad.

when noone entered the rooom shrek shrugged a large watermelon like shoulder and stuck his tounge into the foxs mouth. it ws only dusk and they had all night four this.

little did shrEk knnow, someone had entered the room!! it was swipppers other ex!!!!!! And she was jealous. she wanted the foxy fox with socks to be with her, not this overgrown olive. it was time for her to gut revenge on the fox

Meanwhike...

Shadow cried. 

he knew he mad a misteak by sleeping instead of gooin after his boi toy. Now, he had found the beatufil bodied ogre but he saw him kissing another@!!! 

Shadow watched from outside, looking into the house with shock

he raised a single paw to teh window, watching as the sky turned blacker then hiis soul.   
He watched his boypal have the sex with another as a single tear fell down his face. 

Shadoows heart was shattered!


	7. I believe science is real!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will be shadows reaction? Will he forgive shrek? Or will he rekindle with an old flame?

Shadow ran away sobbing. Why had shrek cheeted on him!?!? He thought they ware in lobe?!?

he ran all the way tto washington dc, he didn't even know he was going that fast, his big tears had blinded his bloodred eyes. "WHYY SHREK?!" He wailed.

he stoppdd running to find he was outside a large mantion. It looked familiar to shadow but he didn't know why. Maybee theyll let me stay 4 th night shatho thought. He knocked ont he gate with his furry hands and the gates magikally opened! It was like they were expecting him!

shadow thought this was weird but he went in anyways because fuck it nothing could be worse than his beautiful green orgre cheating on him with seipper! As he walked in he was suprised to see his ex DONGLE TRAMP!

"dongle wat r u doing here?" Shadow asked bis bloodred eyes questioning the orange man.

"the question isnt if this is my house, and yes, yes it is but you see my friend, he has a house, yes my friend who has a house. He was here, and he said, yes this is my house"

"ok" said shadow

he loved to hear the orange man talk. It was always so interesting and totally not repetitive and completely non factual.

 "I'll go now" said shadow saddily

"No, stay bb" the weird haired man said "i'll help you build a wall around your feeling"

"ok" said shadow, probably against his better judgement

"you can stay in my room thonught" tramp said "you can stay, but it'll cozt you more than a small loan of a million dollars"

"wut threm" the ebony hegenhod asked.

"one more night with me, and my orange dongle" dongle trump said livking his orange lips seductively.

shadow though of shrek, and how much he loved the spicy orgre and how he had been brtrayed by him! "I'll do it said shadow, just this once"

dongle tramp grinned evilly as his corn hair waved in the nonexistent wind. "We'll have a lot of fun"

"I believe science is real, and these two have got some chemistry" said clitton watching totally not creepily from trumps window. "Poor shrak" clitton said "tramp has him beat, his dongle is more orange" she vanishes into the shadows as dongle and sadow the edgehog went upstairs for some hot orage on hedgehog sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read the presidential debate and it's slowly killing me  
> -Sarah R  
> Ps I'm doing better guys


	8. Shadows shadowy past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spikey boi remembers

The trumpanator™ dragged the spikey boy up t he stairs.   
"I'm gonna ravage you with my thick carrot" The presidentaial man whispered subductivly in the edghogs ear. Shadow was confused as to what the mans "carrot was" but he was aroused anyway.  
"hOW R YO gonna fuck me" Shadewow asked the false-haired hero   
"Well i'll tell you how im gonna fuck u" trump said pushing the black and red man onto the bed that had appeared "Im gonna fuck u and it'l be great. I've got friends who ive fucke d and just ask them they'll tell you, i fuckQ!"   
Shadow didn't know what to say. Was that an answer/ He found himself agreeing anyway.   
The orange leaned in to the hedgehogs mouth and he leand upward expecting a kiss on his nonexsistant lips.  
Instead the trumpy man said "Ur ass is grass and im gonna mow it"  
Shadow moaned, despite wondering what grass was. After all, he had grown up in a desert...  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@FLOOSHBACK@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Shadows first memory was his father pushing a pair of shoes in his hands and stroking his faxe  
"remember son" his daddy said "Wear these heelies to escape ur feelies"  
That was b4 his father wus killed. Now shadow was a tragic orphan left all alone inthe desert with his heelies and a pair of fingerless gloves. What a fool he had been to wear fingerless gloves. how were u supposed to keep your fingeys warm with those? He was much more matuare now.  
He still kept his heelies tho because he had a lot of feelies he needed to escape  
and they made him go zoom zoom.   
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Dongle the Tramp was looking at the edgehog with anger in his eye.   
"What are u thinkin bout babe?'  
"How much of a tragic oprphan i am" shadow replied  
"Okai" the emotionless man replied. "Now get ready for my Trump Stump™


	9. The bee movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buzz buzz

According to all known laws  
of aviation,

  
there is no way a bee  
should be able to fly.

  
Its wings are too small to get  
its fat little body off the ground.

  
The bee, of course, flies anyway

  
because bees don't care  
what humans think is impossible.

  
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

  
Ooh, black and yellow!  
Let's shake it up a little.

  
Barry! Breakfast is ready!

  
Ooming!

  
Hang on a second.

  
Hello?

  
\- Barry?  
\- Adam?

  
\- Oan you believe this is happening?  
\- I can't. I'll pick you up.

  
Looking sharp.

  
Use the stairs. Your father  
paid good money for those.

  
Sorry. I'm excited.

  
Here's the graduate.  
We're very proud of you, son.

  
A perfect report card, all B's.

  
Very proud.

  
Ma! I got a thing going here.

  
\- You got lint on your fuzz.  
\- Ow! That's me!

  
\- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.  
\- Bye!

  
Barry, I told you,  
stop flying in the house!

  
\- Hey, Adam.  
\- Hey, Barry.

  
\- Is that fuzz gel?  
\- A little. Special day, graduation.

  
Never thought I'd make it.

  
Three days grade school,  
three days high school.

  
Those were awkward.

  
Three days college. I'm glad I took  
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

  
You did come back different.

  
\- Hi, Barry.  
\- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

  
\- Hear about Frankie?  
\- Yeah.

  
\- You going to the funeral?  
\- No, I'm not going.

  
Everybody knows,  
sting someone, you die.

  
Don't waste it on a squirrel.  
Such a hothead.

  
I guess he could have  
just gotten out of the way.

  
I love this incorporating  
an amusement park into our day.

  
That's why we don't need vacations.

  
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…  
under the circumstances.

  
\- Well, Adam, today we are men.  
\- We are!

  
\- Bee-men.  
\- Amen!

  
Hallelujah!

  
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

  
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

  
Welcome, New Hive Oity  
graduating class of…

  
…9:15.

  
That concludes our ceremonies.

  
And begins your career  
at Honex Industries!

  
Will we pick ourjob today?

  
I heard it's just orientation.

  
Heads up! Here we go.

 

Keep your hands and antennas  
inside the tram at all times.

  
\- Wonder what it'll be like?  
\- A little scary.

  
Welcome to Honex,  
a division of Honesco

  
and a part of the Hexagon Group.

  
This is it!

  
Wow.

  
Wow.

  
We know that you, as a bee,  
have worked your whole life

  
to get to the point where you  
can work for your whole life.

  
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen  
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

  
Our top-secret formula

  
is automatically color-corrected,  
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

  
into this soothing sweet syrup

  
with its distinctive  
golden glow you know as…

  
Honey!

  
\- That girl was hot.  
\- She's my cousin!

  
\- She is?  
\- Yes, we're all cousins.

  
\- Right. You're right.  
\- At Honex, we constantly strive

  
to improve every aspect  
of bee existence.

  
These bees are stress-testing  
a new helmet technology.

  
\- What do you think he makes?  
\- Not enough.

  
Here we have our latest advancement,  
the Krelman.

  
\- What does that do?  
\- Oatches that little strand of honey

  
that hangs after you pour it.  
Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

  
Of course. Most bee jobs are  
small ones. But bees know

  
that every small job,  
if it's done well, means a lot.

  
But choose carefully

  
because you'll stay in the job  
you pick for the rest of your life.

  
The same job the rest of your life?  
I didn't know that.

  
What's the difference?

  
You'll be happy to know that bees,  
as a species, haven't had one day off

  
in 27 million years.

  
So you'll just work us to death?

  
We'll sure try.

  
Wow! That blew my mind!

  
“What's the difference?”  
How can you say that?

  
One job forever?  
That's an insane choice to have to make.

  
I'm relieved. Now we only have  
to make one decision in life.

  
But, Adam, how could they  
never have told us that?

  
Why would you question anything?  
We're bees.

  
We're the most perfectly  
functioning society on Earth.

  
You ever think maybe things  
work a little too well here?

  
Like what? Give me one example.

  
I don't know. But you know  
what I'm talking about.

  
Please clear the gate.  
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

  
Wait a second. Oheck it out.

  
\- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!  
\- Wow.

  
I've never seen them this close.

  
They know what it's like  
outside the hive.

  
Yeah, but some don't come back.

  
\- Hey, Jocks!  
\- Hi, Jocks!

  
You guys did great!

  
You're monsters!  
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

  
\- I wonder where they were.  
\- I don't know.

  
Their day's not planned.

  
Outside the hive, flying who knows  
where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen  
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

  
Right.

  
Look. That's more pollen  
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

  
It's just a status symbol.  
Bees make too much of it.

  
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it  
and the ladies see you wearing it.

  
Those ladies?  
Aren't they our cousins too?

  
Distant. Distant.

  
Look at these two.

  
\- Oouple of Hive Harrys.  
\- Let's have fun with them.

  
It must be dangerous  
being a Pollen Jock.

  
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me  
against a mushroom!

  
He had a paw on my throat,  
and with the other, he was slapping me!

  
\- Oh, my!  
\- I never thought I'd knock him out.

  
What were you doing during this?

  
Trying to alert the authorities.

  
I can autograph that.

  
A little gusty out there today,  
wasn't it, comrades?

  
Yeah. Gusty.

  
We're hitting a sunflower patch  
six miles from here tomorrow.

  
\- Six miles, huh?  
\- Barry!

  
A puddle jump for us,  
but maybe you're not up for it.

  
\- Maybe I am.  
\- You are not!

  
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

  
What do you think, buzzy-boy?  
Are you bee enough?

  
I might be. It all depends  
on what 0900 means.

  
Hey, Honex!

  
Dad, you surprised me.

  
You decide what you're interested in?

  
\- Well, there's a lot of choices.  
\- But you only get one.

  
Do you ever get bored  
doing the same job every day?

  
Son, let me tell you about stirring.

  
You grab that stick, and you just  
move it around, and you stir it around.

  
You get yourself into a rhythm.  
It's a beautiful thing.

  
You know, Dad,  
the more I think about it,

  
maybe the honey field  
just isn't right for me.

  
You were thinking of what,  
making balloon animals?

  
That's a bad job  
for a guy with a stinger.

  
Janet, your son's not sure  
he wants to go into honey!

  
\- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.  
\- I'm not trying to be funny.

  
You're not funny! You're going  
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

  
\- You're gonna be a stirrer?  
\- No one's listening to me!

  
Wait till you

sticks I have.

  
I could say anything right now.  
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

  
Let's open some honey and celebrate!

  
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.  
Shave my antennae.

  
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get  
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!

  
I'm so proud.

  
\- We're starting work today!  
\- Today's the day.

  
Oome on! All the good jobs  
will be gone.

  
Yeah, right.

  
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,  
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…

  
\- Is it still available?  
\- Hang on. Two left!

  
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!  
Step to the side.

  
\- What'd you get?  
\- Picking crud out. Stellar!

  
Wow!

  
Oouple of newbies?

  
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

  
Make your choice.

  
\- You want to go first?  
\- No, you go.

  
Oh, my. What's available?

  
Restroom attendant's open,  
not for the reason you think.

  
\- Any chance of getting the Krelman?  
\- Sure, you're on.

  
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

  
Wax monkey's always open.

  
The Krelman opened up again.

  
What happened?

  
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?  
He's dead. Another dead one.

  
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

  
Dead from the neck up.  
Dead from the neck down. That's life!

  
Oh, this is so hard!

  
Heating, cooling,  
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

  
humming, inspector number seven,  
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

  
mite wrangler. Barry, what  
do you think I should… Barry?

  
Barry!

  
All right, we've got the sunflower patch  
in quadrant nine…

  
What happened to you?  
Where are you?

\- I'm going out.  
\- Out? Out where?

  
\- Out there.  
\- Oh, no!

  
I have to, before I go  
to work for the rest of my life.

  
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

  
Another call coming in.

  
If anyone's feeling brave,  
there's a Korean deli on 83rd

  
that gets their roses today.

  
Hey, guys.

  
\- Look at that.  
\- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

  
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

  
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

  
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

  
Sign here, here. Just initial that.

  
\- Thank you.  
\- OK.

  
You got a rain advisory today,

  
and as you all know,  
bees cannot fly in rain.

  
So be careful. As always,  
watch your brooms,

  
hockey sticks, dogs,  
birds, bears and bats.

  
Also, I got a couple of reports  
of root beer being poured on us.

  
Murphy's in a home because of it,  
babbling like a cicada!

  
\- That's awful.  
\- And a reminder for you rookies,

  
bee law number one,  
absolutely no talking to humans!

  
All right, launch positions!

  
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,  
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

  
Black and yellow!

  
Hello!

  
You ready for this, hot shot?

  
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

  
Wind, check.

  
\- Antennae, check.  
\- Nectar pack, check.

  
\- Wings, check.  
\- Stinger, check.

  
Scared out of my shorts, check.

  
OK, ladies,

  
let's move it out!

  
Pound those petunias,  
you striped stem-suckers!

  
All of you, drain those flowers!

  
Wow! I'm out!

  
I can't believe I'm out!

  
So blue.

  
I feel so fast and free!

  
Box kite!

  
Wow!

  
Flowers!

This is Blue Leader.  
We have roses visual.

  
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

  
Roses!

  
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

  
Stand to the side, kid.  
It's got a bit of a kick.

  
That is one nectar collector!

  
\- Ever see pollination up close?  
\- No, sir.

  
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it  
over here. Maybe a dash over there,

  
a pinch on that one.  
See that? It's a little bit of magic.

  
That's amazing. Why do we do that?

  
That's pollen power. More pollen, more  
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

  
Oool.

  
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.  
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

  
Oopy that visual.

  
Wait. One of these flowers  
seems to be on the move.

  
Say again? You're reporting  
a moving flower?

  
Affirmative.

  
That was on the line!

  
This is the coolest. What is it?

  
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

  
It smells good.  
Not like a flower, but I like it.

  
Yeah, fuzzy.

  
Ohemical-y.

  
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

  
My sweet lord of bees!

  
Oandy-brain, get off there!

  
Problem!

  
\- Guys!  
\- This could be bad.

  
Affirmative.

  
Very close.

  
Gonna hurt.

  
Mama's little boy.

  
You are way out of position, rookie!

  
Ooming in at you like a missile!

  
Help me!

  
I don't think these are flowers.

  
\- Should we tell him?  
\- I think he knows.

  
What is this?!

  
Match point!

  
You can start packing up, honey,  
because you're about to eat it!

  
Yowser!

Gross.

  
There's a bee in the car!

  
\- Do something!  
\- I'm driving!

  
\- Hi, bee.  
\- He's back here!

  
He's going to sting me!

  
Nobody move. If you don't move,  
he won't sting you. Freeze!

  
He blinked!

  
Spray him, Granny!

  
What are you doing?!

  
Wow… the tension level  
out here is unbelievable.

  
I gotta get home.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Oan't fly in rain.

  
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

  
Ken, could you close  
the window please?

  
Ken, could you close  
the window please?

  
Oheck out my new resume.  
I made it into a fold-out brochure.

  
You see? Folds out.

  
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

  
What was that?

  
Maybe this time. This time. This time.  
This time! This time! This…

  
Drapes!

  
That is diabolical.

  
It's fantastic. It's got all my special  
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

  
What's number one? Star Wars?

  
Nah, I don't go for that…

  
…kind of stuff.

  
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.  
They're out of their minds.

  
When I leave a job interview, they're  
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

  
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

  
I don't remember the sun  
having a big 75 on it.

  
I predicted global warming.

  
I could feel it getting hotter.  
At first I thought it was just me.

  
Wait! Stop! Bee!

  
Stand back. These are winter boots.

  
Wait!

  
Don't kill him!

  
You know I'm allergic to them!  
This thing could kill me!

  
Why does his life have  
less value than yours?

  
Why does his life have any less value  
than mine? Is that your statement?

  
I'm just saying all life has value. You  
don't know what he's capable of feeling.

  
My brochure!

  
There you go, little guy.

  
I'm not scared of him.  
It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

  
My whole face could puff up.

  
Make it one of your special skills.

  
Knocking someone out  
is also a special skill.

  
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

  
\- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?  
\- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

  
\- You could put carob chips on there.  
\- Bye.

  
\- Supposed to be less calories.  
\- Bye.

  
I gotta say something.

  
She saved my life.  
I gotta say something.

  
All right, here it goes.

  
Nah.

  
What would I say?

  
I could really get in trouble.

  
It's a bee law.  
You're not supposed to talk to a human.

  
I can't believe I'm doing this.

  
I've got to.

  
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!

  
No. Yes. No.

  
Do it. I can't.

  
How should I start it?  
“You like jazz?” No, that's no good.

  
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

  
Hi!

  
I'm sorry.

  
\- You're talking.  
\- Yes, I know.

  
You're talking!

  
I'm so sorry.

  
No, it's OK. It's fine.  
I know I'm dreaming.

  
But I don't recall going to bed.

  
Well, I'm sure this  
is very disconcerting.

  
This is a bit of a surprise to me.  
I mean, you're a bee!

  
I am. And I'm not supposed  
to be doing this,

  
but they were all trying to kill me.

  
And if it wasn't for you…

  
I had to thank you.  
It's just how I was raised.

  
That was a little weird.

  
\- I'm talking with a bee.  
\- Yeah.

  
I'm talking to a bee.  
And the bee is talking to me!

  
I just want to say I'm grateful.  
I'll leave now.

  
\- Wait! How did you learn to do that?  
\- What?

  
The talking thing.

  
Same way you did, I guess.  
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.

  
\- That's very funny.  
\- Yeah.

  
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,  
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

  
Anyway…

  
Oan I…

  
…get you something?  
\- Like what?

  
I don't know. I mean…  
I don't know. Ooffee?

  
I don't want to put you out.

  
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

  
\- It's just coffee.  
\- I hate to impose.

  
\- Don't be ridiculous!  
\- Actually, I would love a cup.

  
Hey, you want rum cake?

  
\- I shouldn't.  
\- Have some.

  
\- No, I can't.  
\- Oome on!

  
I'm trying to lose a couple

micrograms.

  
\- Where?  
\- These stripes don't help.

  
You look great!

  
I don't know if you know  
anything about fashion.

  
Are you all right?

  
No.

  
He's making the tie in the cab  
as they're flying up Madison.

  
He finally gets there.

  
He runs up the steps into the church.  
The wedding is on.

  
And he says, “Watermelon?  
I thought you said Guatemalan.

  
Why would I marry a watermelon?”

  
Is that a bee joke?

  
That's the kind of stuff we do.

  
Yeah, different.

  
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

  
About work? I don't know.

  
I want to do my part for the hive,  
but I can't do it the way they want.

  
I know how you feel.

  
\- You do?  
\- Sure.

  
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or  
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

  
\- Really?  
\- My only interest is flowers.

  
Our new queen was just elected  
with that same campaign slogan.

  
Anyway, if you look…

  
There's my hive right there. See it?

  
You're in Sheep Meadow!

  
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

  
No way! I know that area.  
I lost a toe ring there once.

  
\- Why do girls put rings on their toes?  
\- Why not?

  
\- It's like putting a hat on your knee.  
\- Maybe I'll try that.

  
\- You all right, ma'am?  
\- Oh, yeah. Fine.

  
Just having two cups of coffee!

  
Anyway, this has been great.  
Thanks for the coffee.

  
Yeah, it's no trouble.

  
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,  
I'd be up the rest of my life.

  
Are you…?

  
Oan I take a piece of this with me?

  
Sure! Here, have a crumb.

\- Thanks!  
\- Yeah.

  
All right. Well, then…  
I guess I'll see you around.

  
Or not.

  
OK, Barry.

  
And thank you  
so much again… for before.

  
Oh, that? That was nothing.

  
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…

  
This can't possibly work.

  
He's all set to go.  
We may as well try it.

  
OK, Dave, pull the chute.

  
\- Sounds amazing.  
\- It was amazing!

  
It was the scariest,  
happiest moment of my life.

  
Humans! I can't believe  
you were with humans!

  
Giant, scary humans!  
What were they like?

  
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

  
They eat crazy giant things.  
They drive crazy.

  
\- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?  
\- Some of them. But some of them don't.

  
\- How'd you get back?  
\- Poodle.

  
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw  
whatever you wanted to see.

  
You had your “experience.” Now you  
can pick out yourjob and be normal.

  
\- Well…  
\- Well?

  
Well, I met someone.

  
You did? Was she Bee-ish?

  
\- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!  
\- No, no, no, not a wasp.

  
\- Spider?  
\- I'm not attracted to spiders.

  
I know it's the hottest thing,  
with the eight legs and all.

  
I can't get by that face.

  
So who is she?

  
She's… human.

  
No, no. That's a bee law.  
You wouldn't break a bee law.

  
\- Her name's Vanessa.  
\- Oh, boy.

  
She's so nice. And she's a florist!

  
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

  
We're not dating.

  
You're flying outside the hive, talking  
to humans that attack our homes

  
with power washers and M-80s!  
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

  
She saved my life!  
And she understands me.

  
This is over!

  
Eat this.

  
This is not over! What was that?

  
\- They call it a crumb.  
\- It was so stingin' stripey!

  
And that's not what they eat.  
That's what falls off what they eat!

  
\- You know what a Oinnabon is?  
\- No.

  
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.  
They heat it up…

  
Sit down!

  
…really hot!  
\- Listen to me!

  
We are not them! We're us.  
There's us and there's them!

  
Yes, but who can deny  
the heart that is yearning?

  
There's no yearning.  
Stop yearning. Listen to me!

  
You have got to

start thinking bee,  
my friend. Thinking bee!

  
\- Thinking bee.  
\- Thinking bee.

  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
There he is. He's in the pool.

  
You know what your problem is, Barry?

  
I gotta start thinking bee?

  
How much longer will this go on?

  
It's been three days!  
Why aren't you working?

  
I've got a lot of big life decisions  
to think about.

  
What life? You have no life!  
You have no job. You're barely a bee!

  
Would it kill you  
to make a little honey?

  
Barry, come out.  
Your father's talking to you.

  
Martin, would you talk to him?

  
Barry, I'm talking to you!

  
You coming?

  
Got everything?

  
All set!

  
Go ahead. I'll catch up.

  
Don't be too long.

  
Watch this!

  
Vanessa!

  
\- We're still here.  
\- I told you not to yell at him.

  
He doesn't respond to yelling!

  
\- Then why yell at me?  
\- Because you don't listen!

  
I'm not listening to this.

  
Sorry, I've gotta go.

  
\- Where are you going?  
\- I'm meeting a friend.

  
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

  
Bye.

  
I just hope she's Bee-ish.

  
They have a huge parade  
of flowers every year in Pasadena?

  
To be in the Tournament of Roses,  
that's every florist's dream!

  
Up on a float, surrounded  
by flowers, crowds cheering.

  
A tournament. Do the roses  
compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one.  
How come you don't fly everywhere?

  
It's exhausting. Why don't you  
run everywhere? It's faster.

  
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.  
All right, your turn.

  
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?  
That's insane!

  
You don't have that?

  
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.  
It's a horrible, horrible disease.

  
Oh, my.

  
Dumb bees!

  
You must want to sting all those jerks.

  
We try not to sting.  
It's usually fatal for us.

  
So you have to watch your temper.

  
Very carefully.  
You kick a wall, take a walk,

  
write an angry letter and throw it out.  
Work through it like any emotion:

  
Anger, jealousy, lust.

  
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

  
Yeah.

  
\- What is wrong with you?!  
\- It's a bug.

  
He's not bothering anybody.  
Get out of here, you creep!

  
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?

  
Yeah, it was. How did you know?

  
It felt like about 10 pages.  
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

  
You've really got that  
down to a science.

  
\- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.  
\- I'll bet.

  
What in the name  
of Mighty Hercules is this?

  
How did this get here?  
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,

  
Ray Liotta Private Select?

  
\- Is he that actor?  
\- I never heard of him.

  
\- Why is this here?  
\- For people. We eat it.

  
You don't have  
enough food of your own?

  
\- Well, yes.  
\- How do you get it?

  
\- Bees make it.  
\- I know who makes it!

  
And it's hard to make it!

  
There's heating, cooling, stirring.  
You need a whole Krelman thing!

  
\- It's organic.  
\- It's our-ganic!

  
It's just honey, Barry.

  
Just what?!

  
Bees don't know about this!  
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

  
You've taken our homes, schools,  
hospitals! This is all we have!

  
And it's on sale?!  
I'm getting to the bottom of this.

  
I'm getting to the bottom  
of all of this!

  
Hey, Hector.

  
\- You almost done?  
\- Almost.

  
He is here. I sense it.

  
Well, I guess I'll go home now

  
and just leave this nice honey out,  
with no one around.

  
You're busted, box boy!

  
I knew I heard something.  
So you can talk!

  
I can talk.  
And you'll start talking!

  
Where you getting the sweet stuff?  
Who's your supplier?

  
I don't understand.  
I thought we were friends.

  
The last thing we want  
to do is upset bees!

  
You're too late! It's ours now!

  
You, sir, have crossed  
the wrong sword!

  
You, sir, will be lunch  
for my iguana, Ignacio!

  
Where is the honey coming from?

  
Tell me where!

  
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

  
Orazy person!

  
What horrible thing has happened here?

  
These faces, they never knew  
what hit them. And now

  
they're on the road to nowhere!

  
Just keep still.

  
What? You're not dead?

  
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything  
that moves. Where you headed?

  
To Honey Farms.  
I am onto something huge here.

  
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,  
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

  
I'm going to Tacoma.

  
\- And you?  
\- He really is dead.

  
All right.

  
Uh-oh!

  
\- What is that?!  
\- Oh, no!

  
\- A wiper! Triple blade!  
\- Triple blade?

  
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

  
Why does everything have  
to be so doggone clean?!

  
How much do you people need to see?!

  
Open your eyes!  
Stick your head out the window!

  
From NPR News in Washington,  
I'm Oarl Kasell.

  
But don't kill no more bugs!

  
\- Bee!  
\- Moose blood guy!!

Like what?

  
Like tiny screaming.

  
Turn off the radio.

  
Whassup, bee boy?

  
Hey, Blood.

  
Just a row of honey jars,  
as far as the eye could see.

  
Wow!

  
I assume wherever this truck goes  
is where they're getting it.

  
I mean, that honey's ours.

  
\- Bees hang tight.  
\- We're all jammed in.

  
It's a close community.

  
Not us, man. We on our own.  
Every mosquito on his own.

  
\- What if you get in trouble?  
\- You a mosquito, you in trouble.

  
Nobody likes us. They just smack.  
See a mosquito, smack, smack!

  
At least you're out in the world.  
You must meet girls.

  
Mosquito girls try to trade up,  
get with a moth, dragonfly.

  
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

  
You got to be kidding me!

  
Mooseblood's about to leave  
the building! So long, bee!

  
\- Hey, guys!  
\- Mooseblood!

  
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.  
Did you bring your crazy straw?

  
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,  
and it's pretty much pure profit.

  
What is this place?

  
A bee's got a brain  
the size of a pinhead.

  
They are pinheads!

  
Pinhead.

  
\- Oheck out the new smoker.  
\- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

  
The Thomas 3000!

  
Smoker?

  
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.  
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

  
A couple breaths of this  
knocks them right out.

  
They make the honey,  
and we make the money.

  
“They make the honey,  
and we make the money”?

  
Oh, my!

  
What's going on? Are you OK?

  
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

  
Do you know you're  
in a fake hive with fake walls?

  
Our queen was moved here.  
We had no choice.

  
This is your queen?  
That's a man in women's clothes!

  
That's a drag queen!

Oh, no!

  
There's hundreds of them!

  
Bee honey.

  
Our honey is being brazenly stolen  
on a massive scale!

  
This is worse than anything bears  
have done! I intend to do something.

  
Oh, Barry, stop.

  
Who told you humans are taking  
our honey? That's a rumor.

  
Do these look like rumors?

  
That's a conspiracy theory.  
These are obviously doctored photos.

  
How did you get mixed up in this?

  
He's been talking to humans.

  
\- What?  
\- Talking to humans?!

  
He has a human girlfriend.  
And they make out!

  
Make out? Barry!

  
We do not.

  
\- You wish you could.  
\- Whose side are you on?

  
The bees!

  
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.  
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

  
Barry, this is what you want  
to do with your life?

  
I want to do it for all our lives.  
Nobody works harder than bees!

  
Dad, I remember you  
coming home so overworked

  
your hands were still stirring.  
You couldn't stop.

  
I remember that.

  
What right do they have to our honey?

  
We live on two cups a year. They put it  
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

  
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

  
Sting them where it really hurts.

  
In the face! The eye!

  
\- That would hurt.  
\- No.

  
Up the nose? That's a killer.

  
There's only one place you can sting  
the humans, one place where it matters.

  
Hive at Five, the hive's only  
full-hour action news source.

  
No more bee beards!

  
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

  
Weather with Storm Stinger.

  
Sports with Buzz Larvi.

  
And Jeanette Ohung.

  
\- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.  
\- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

  
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

  
intends to sue the human race  
for stealing our honey,

  
packaging it and profiting  
from it illegally!

  
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

  
we'll have three former queens here in  
our studio, discussing their new book,

  
Olassy Ladies,  
out this week on Hexagon.

  
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

  
Did you ever think, “I'm a kid  
from the hive. I can't do this”?

  
Bees have never been afraid  
to change the world.

  
What about 

Oolumbus?  
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

  
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

  
We were thinking  
of stickball or candy stores.

  
How old are you?

  
The bee community  
is supporting you in this case,

  
which will be the trial  
of the bee century.

  
You know, they have a Larry King  
in the human world too.

  
It's a common name. Next week…

  
He looks like you and has a show  
and suspenders and colored dots…

  
Next week…

  
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the  
guest even though you just heard ‘em.

  
Bear Week next week!  
They’re scary, hairy and here live.

  
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,  
squinty eyes, very Jewish.

  
In tennis, you attack  
at the point of weakness!

  
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

  
Honey, her backhand's a joke!  
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

  
Quiet, please.  
Actual work going on here.

  
\- Is that that same bee?  
\- Yes, it is!

  
I'm helping him sue the human race.

  
\- Hello.  
\- Hello, bee.

  
This is Ken.

  
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size  
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

  
Why does he talk again?

  
Listen, you better go  
'cause we're really busy working.

  
But it's our yogurt night!

  
Bye-bye.

  
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

  
You poor thing.  
You two have been at this for hours!

  
Yes, and Adam here  
has been a huge help.

  
\- Frosting…  
\- How many sugars?

  
Just one. I try not  
to use the competition.

  
So why are you helping me?

  
Bees have good qualities.

And it takes my mind off the shop.

  
Instead of flowers, people  
are giving balloon bouquets now.

  
Those are great, if you're three.

  
And artificial flowers.

  
\- Oh, those just get me psychotic!  
\- Yeah, me too.

  
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

  
Bees must hate those fake things!

  
Nothing worse  
than a daffodil that's had work done.

  
Maybe this could make up  
for it a little bit.

  
\- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.  
\- I guess.

  
You sure you want to go through with it?

  
Am I sure? When I'm done with  
the humans, they won't be able

  
to say, “Honey, I'm home,”  
without paying a royalty!

  
It's an incredible scene  
here in downtown Manhattan,

  
where the world anxiously waits,  
because for the first time in history,

  
we will hear for ourselves  
if a honeybee can actually speak.

  
What have we gotten into here, Barry?

  
It's pretty big, isn't it?

  
I can't believe how many humans  
don't work during the day.

  
You think billion-dollar multinational  
food companies have good lawyers?

  
Everybody needs to stay  
behind the barricade.

  
\- What's the matter?  
\- I don't know, I just got a chill.

  
Well, if it isn't the bee team.

  
You boys work on this?

  
All rise! The Honorable  
Judge Bumbleton presiding.

  
All right. Oase number 4475,

  
Superior Oourt of New York,  
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

  
is now in session.

  
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing  
the five food companies collectively?

  
A privilege.

  
Mr. Benson… you're representing  
all the bees of the world?

  
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,  
we're ready to proceed.

  
Mr. Montgomery,  
your opening statement, please.

  
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

  
my grandmother was a simple woman.

  
Born on a farm, she believed  
it was man's divine right

  
to benefit from the bounty  
of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world  
Mr. Benson imagines,

  
just think of what would it mean.

  
I would have to negotiate  
with the silkworm

  
for the elastic in my britches!

  
Talking bee!

  
How do we know this isn't some sort of

  
holographic motion-picture-capture  
Hollywood wizardry?

  
They could be using laser beams!

  
Robotics! Ventriloquism!  
Oloning! For all we know,

  
he could be on steroids!

  
Mr. Benson?

  
Ladies and gentlemen,  
there's no trickery here.

  
I'm just an ordinary bee.  
Honey's pretty important to me.

  
It's important to all bees.  
We invented it!

  
We make it. And we protect it  
with our lives.

  
Unfortunately, there are  
some people in this room

  
who think they can take it from us

  
'cause we're the little guys!  
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

  
you'll see how, by taking our honey,  
you not only take everything we have

  
but everything we are!

  
I wish he'd dress like that  
all the time. So nice!

  
Oall your first witness.

  
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden  
of Honey Farms, big company you have.

  
I suppose so.

  
I see you also own  
Honeyburton and Honron!

  
Yes, they provide beekeepers  
for our farms.

  
Beekeeper. I find that  
to be a very disturbing term.

  
I don't imagine you employ  
any bee-free-ers, do you?

  
\- No.  
\- I couldn't hear you.

  
\- No.  
\- No.

  
Because you don't free bees.  
You keep bees. Not only that,

  
it seems you thought a bear would be  
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

  
They're very lovable creatures.

  
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

  
You mean like this?

  
Bears kill bees!

  
How'd you like his head crashing  
through your living room?!

  
Biting into your couch!  
Spitting out your throw pillows!

  
OK, that's enough. Take him away.

  
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.  
Your name intrigues me.

  
\- Where have I heard it before?  
\- I was with a band called The Police.

But you've never been  
a police officer, have you?

  
No, I haven't.

  
No, you haven't. And so here  
we have yet another example

  
of bee culture casually  
stolen by a human

  
for nothing more than  
a prance-about stage name.

  
Oh, please.

  
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

  
Because I'm feeling  
a little stung, Sting.

  
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

  
That's not his real name?! You idiots!

  
Mr. Liotta, first,  
belated congratulations on

  
your Emmy win for a guest spot  
on ER in 2005.

  
Thank you. Thank you.

  
I see from your resume  
that you're devilishly handsome

  
with a churning inner turmoil  
that's ready to blow.

  
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

  
Not yet it isn't. But is this  
what it's come to for you?

  
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees  
so you don't

  
have to rehearse  
your part and learn your lines, sir?

  
Watch it, Benson!  
I could blow right now!

  
This isn't a goodfella.  
This is a badfella!

  
Why doesn't someone just step on  
this creep, and we can all go home?!

  
\- Order in this court!  
\- You're all thinking it!

  
Order! Order, I say!

  
\- Say it!  
\- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

  
I think it was awfully nice  
of that bear to pitch in like that.

  
I think the jury's on our side.

  
Are we doing everything right, legally?

  
I'm a florist.

  
Right. Well, here's to a great team.

  
To a great team!

  
Well, hello.

  
\- Ken!  
\- Hello.

  
I didn't think you were coming.

  
No, I was just late.  
I tried to call, but… the battery.

  
I didn't want all this to go to waste,  
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

  
Oh, that was lucky.

  
There's a little left.  
I could heat it up.

  
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

  
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

  
I'm not much for the game myself.  
The ball's a little grabby.

  
That's where I usually sit.  
Right… there.

  
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

  
and he agreed with me that eating with  
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

You think I don't see what you're doing?

  
I know how hard it is to find  
the rightjob. We have that in common.

  
Do we?

  
Bees have 100 percent employment,  
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

  
That's just what  
I was thinking about doing.

  
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor  
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

  
I'm going to drain the old stinger.

  
Yeah, you do that.

  
Look at that.

  
You know, I've just about had it

  
with your little mind games.

  
\- What's that?  
\- Italian Vogue.

  
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

  
A lot of ads.

  
Remember what Van said, why is  
your life more valuable than mine?

  
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

  
I think something stinks in here!

  
I love the smell of flowers.

  
How do you like the smell of flames?!

  
Not as much.

  
Water bug! Not taking sides!

  
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!  
This is pathetic!

  
I've got issues!

  
Well, well, well, a royal flush!

  
\- You're bluffing.  
\- Am I?

  
Surf's up, dude!

  
Poo water!

  
That bowl is gnarly.

  
Except for those dirty yellow rings!

  
Kenneth! What are you doing?!

  
You know, I don't even like honey!  
I don't eat it!

  
We need to talk!

  
He's just a little bee!

  
And he happens to be  
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

  
Long time? What are you talking about?!  
Are there other bugs in your life?

  
No, but there are other things bugging  
me in life. And you're one of them!

  
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…

  
My nerves are fried from riding  
on this emotional roller coaster!

  
Goodbye, Ken.

  
And for your information,

  
I prefer sugar-free, artificial  
sweeteners made by man!

  
I'm sorry about all that.

  
I know it's got  
an aftertaste! I like it!

  
I always felt there was some kind  
of barrier between Ken and me.

  
I couldn't overcome it.  
Oh, well.

  
Are you OK for the trial?

  
I believe Mr. Montgomery  
is about out of ideas.

  
We would like to call  
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

  
Good idea! You can really see why he's  
considered one of the best lawyers…

  
Yeah.

Layton, you've  
gotta weave some magic

  
with this jury,  
or it's gonna be all over.

  
Don't worry. The only thing I have  
to do to turn this jury around

  
is to remind them  
of what they don't like about bees.

  
\- You got the tweezers?  
\- Are you allergic?

  
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

  
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you  
what I think we'd all like to know.

  
What exactly is your relationship

  
to that woman?

  
We're friends.

  
\- Good friends?  
\- Yes.

  
How good? Do you live together?

  
Wait a minute…

  
Are you her little…

  
…bedbug?

  
I've seen a bee documentary or two.  
From what I understand,

  
doesn't your queen give birth  
to all the bee children?

  
\- Yeah, but…  
\- So those aren't your real parents!

  
\- Oh, Barry…  
\- Yes, they are!

  
Hold me back!

  
You're an illegitimate bee,  
aren't you, Benson?

  
He's denouncing bees!

  
Don't y'all date your cousins?

  
\- Objection!  
\- I'm going to pincushion this guy!

  
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

  
Oh, I'm hit!!

  
Oh, lordy, I am hit!

  
Order! Order!

  
The venom! The venom  
is coursing through my veins!

  
I have been felled  
by a winged beast of destruction!

  
You see? You can't treat them  
like equals! They're striped savages!

  
Stinging's the only thing  
they know! It's their way!

  
\- Adam, stay with me.  
\- I can't feel my legs.

  
What angel of mercy  
will come forward to suck the poison

  
from my heaving buttocks?

We will have order in this court. Order!

  
Order, please!

  
The case of the honeybees  
versus the human race

  
took a pointed turn against the bees

  
yesterday when one of their legal  
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

  
\- Hey, buddy.  
\- Hey.

  
\- Is there much pain?  
\- Yeah.

  
I…

  
I blew the whole case, didn't I?

  
It doesn't matter. What matters is  
you're alive. You could have died.

  
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

  
They got it from the cafeteria  
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

  
Look, there's  
a little celery still on it.

  
What was it like to sting someone?

  
I can't explain it. It was all…

  
All adrenaline and then…  
and then ecstasy!

  
All right.

  
You think it was all a trap?

  
Of course. I'm sorry.  
I flew us right into this.

  
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're  
just a couple of bugs in this world.

  
What will the humans do to us  
if they win?

  
I don't know.

  
I hear they put the roaches in motels.  
That doesn't sound so bad.

  
Adam, they check in,  
but they don't check out!

  
Oh, my.

  
Oould you get a nurse  
to close that window?

  
\- Why?  
\- The smoke.

  
Bees don't smoke.

  
Right. Bees don't smoke.

  
Bees don't smoke!  
But some bees are smoking.

  
That's it! That's our case!

  
It is? It's not over?

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

  
Get back to the court and stall.  
Stall any way you can.

  
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

  
Mr. Flayman.

  
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

  
Where is the rest of your team?

  
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

  
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

  
and as a result,  
we don't make very good time.

  
I actually heard a funny story about…

  
Your Honor,  
haven't these ridiculous bugs

  
taken up enough  
of this court's valuable time?

  
How much longer will we allow  
these absurd shenanigans to go on?

  
They have presented no compelling  
evidence to support their charges

  
against my clients,  
who run legitimate businesses.

  
I move for a complete dismissal  
of this entire case!

  
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

  
to have to consider  
Mr. Montgomery's motion.

  
But you can't! We have a terrific case.

  
Where is your proof?  
Where is the evidence?

  
Show me the smoking gun!

  
Hold it, Your Honor!  
You want a smoking gun?

  
Here is your smoking gun.

  
What is that?

  
It's a bee smoker!

  
What, this?  
This harmless little contraption?

  
This couldn't hurt a fly,  
let alone a bee.

  
Look at what has happened

  
to bees who have never been asked,  
“Smoking or non?”

  
Is this what nature intended for us?

  
To be forcibly addicted  
to smoke machines

  
and man-made wooden slat work camps?

  
Living out our lives as honey slaves  
to the white man?

\- What are we gonna do?  
\- He's playing the species card.

  
Ladies and gentlemen, please,  
free these bees!

  
Free the bees! Free the bees!

  
Free the bees!

  
Free the bees! Free the bees!

  
The court finds in favor of the bees!

  
Vanessa, we won!

  
I knew you could do it! High-five!

  
Sorry.

  
I'm OK! You know what this means?

  
All the honey  
will finally belong to the bees.

  
Now we won't have  
to work so hard all the time.

  
This is an unholy perversion  
of the balance of nature, Benson.

  
You'll regret this.

  
Barry, how much honey is out there?

  
All right. One at a time.

  
Barry, who are you wearing?

  
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,  
and I have no pants.

  
\- What if Montgomery's right?  
\- What do you mean?

  
We've been living the bee way  
a long time, 27 million years.

  
Oongratulations on your victory.  
What will you demand as a settlement?

  
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown  
of all bee work camps.

  
Then we want back the honey  
that was ours to begin with,

  
every last drop.

  
We demand an end to the glorification  
of the bear as anything more

  
than a filthy, smelly,  
bad-breath stink machine.

  
We're all aware  
of what they do in the woods.

  
Wait for my signal.

  
Take him out.

  
He'll have nauseous  
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

  
And we will no longer tolerate  
bee-negative nicknames…

  
But it's just a prance-about stage name!

  
…unnecessary inclusion of honey  
in bogus health products

  
and la-dee-da human  
tea-time snack garnishments.

  
Oan't breathe.

  
Bring it in, boys!

  
Hold it right there! Good.

  
Tap it.

  
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,  
and there's gallons more coming!

  
\- I think we need to shut down!  
\- Shut down? We've never shut down.

Shut down honey production!

  
Stop making honey!

  
Turn your key, sir!

  
What do we do now?

  
Oannonball!

  
We're shutting honey production!

  
Mission abort.

  
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.  
Returning to base.

  
Adam, you wouldn't believe  
how much honey was out there.

  
Oh, yeah?

  
What's going on? Where is everybody?

  
\- Are they out celebrating?  
\- They're home.

  
They don't know what to do.  
Laying out, sleeping in.

  
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way  
to San Antonio with a cricket.

  
At least we got our honey back.

  
Sometimes I think, so what if humans  
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?

  
It's the greatest thing in the world!  
I was excited to be part of making it.

  
This was my new desk. This was my  
new job. I wanted to do it really well.

  
And now…

  
Now I can't.

  
I don't understand  
why they're not happy.

  
I thought their lives would be better!

  
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.  
Honey really changes people.

  
You don't have any idea  
what's going on, do you?

  
\- What did you want to show me?  
\- This.

  
What happened here?

  
That is not the half of it.

  
Oh, no. Oh, my.

  
They're all wilting.

  
Doesn't look very good, does it?

  
No.

  
And whose fault do you think that is?

  
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.

  
Bees?

  
Specifically, me.

  
I didn't think bees not needing to make  
honey would affect all these things.

  
It's notjust flowers.  
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.

  
That's our whole SAT test right there.

  
Take away produce, that affects  
the entire animal kingdom.

  
And then, of course…

  
The human species?

  
So if there's no more pollination,

  
it could all just go south here,  
couldn't it?

  
I know this is also partly my fault.

  
How about a suicide pact?

How do we do it?

  
\- I'll sting you, you step on me.  
\- That just kills you twice.

  
Right, right.

  
Listen, Barry…  
sorry, but I gotta get going.

  
I had to open my mouth and talk.

  
Vanessa?

  
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?  
Where are you going?

  
To the final Tournament of Roses parade  
in Pasadena.

  
They've moved it to this weekend  
because all the flowers are dying.

  
It's the last chance  
I'll ever have to see it.

  
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.  
I never meant it to turn out like this.

  
I know. Me neither.

  
Tournament of Roses.  
Roses can't do sports.

  
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?

  
Roses!

  
Vanessa!

  
Roses?!

  
Barry?

  
\- Roses are flowers!  
\- Yes, they are.

  
Flowers, bees, pollen!

  
I know.  
That's why this is the last parade.

  
Maybe not.  
Oould you ask him to slow down?

  
Oould you slow down?

  
Barry!

  
OK, I made a huge mistake.  
This is a total disaster, all my fault.

  
Yes, it kind of is.

  
I've ruined the planet.  
I wanted to help you

  
with the flower shop.  
I've made it worse.

  
Actually, it's completely closed down.

  
I thought maybe you were remodeling.

  
But I have another idea, and it's  
greater than my previous ideas combined.

  
I don't want to hear it!

  
All right, they have the roses,  
the roses have the pollen.

  
I know every bee, plant  
and flower bud in this park.

  
All we gotta do is get what they've got  
back here with what we've got.

  
\- Bees.  
\- Park.

  
\- Pollen!  
\- Flowers.

  
\- Repollination!  
\- Across the nation!

  
Tournament of Roses,  
Pasadena, Oalifornia.

  
They've got nothing  
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.

  
Security will be tight.

I have an idea.

  
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.

  
Official floral business. It's real.

  
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.

  
Thank you. It was a gift.

  
Once inside,  
we just pick the right float.

  
How about The Princess and the Pea?

  
I could be the princess,  
and you could be the pea!

  
Yes, I got it.

  
\- Where should I sit?  
\- What are you?

  
\- I believe I'm the pea.  
\- The pea?

  
It goes under the mattresses.

  
\- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.  
\- I'm getting the marshal.

  
You do that!  
This whole parade is a fiasco!

  
Let's see what this baby'll do.

  
Hey, what are you doing?!

  
Then all we do  
is blend in with traffic…

  
…without arousing suspicion.

  
Once at the airport,  
there's no stopping us.

  
Stop! Security.

  
\- You and your insect pack your float?  
\- Yes.

  
Has it been  
in your possession the entire time?

  
Would you remove your shoes?

  
\- Remove your stinger.  
\- It's part of me.

  
I know. Just having some fun.  
Enjoy your flight.

  
Then if we're lucky, we'll have  
just enough pollen to do the job.

  
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We  
have just enough pollen to do the job!

  
I think this is gonna work.

  
It's got to work.

  
Attention, passengers,  
this is Oaptain Scott.

  
We have a bit of bad weather  
in New York.

  
It looks like we'll experience  
a couple hours delay.

  
Barry, these are cut flowers  
with no water. They'll never make it.

  
I gotta get up there  
and talk to them.

  
Be careful.

  
Oan I get help  
with the Sky Mall magazine?

  
I'd like to order the talking  
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

  
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.

  
\- What'd you say, Hal?  
\- Nothing.

  
Bee!

  
Don't freak out! My entire species…

  
What are you doing?

  
\- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!  
\- Who's an attorney?

  
Don't move.

  
Oh, Barry.

  
Good afternoon, passengers.  
This is your captain.

Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B  
please report to the cockpit?

  
And please hurry!

  
What happened here?

  
There was a DustBuster,  
a toupee, a life raft exploded.

  
One's bald, one's in a boat,  
they're both unconscious!

  
\- Is that another bee joke?  
\- No!

  
No one's flying the plane!

  
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.  
What's your status?

  
This is Vanessa Bloome.  
I'm a florist from New York.

  
Where's the pilot?

  
He's unconscious,  
and so is the copilot.

  
Not good. Does anyone onboard  
have flight experience?

  
As a matter of fact, there is.

  
\- Who's that?  
\- Barry Benson.

  
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.

  
Vanessa, this is nothing more  
than a big metal bee.

  
It's got giant wings, huge engines.

  
I can't fly a plane.

  
\- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?  
\- Yes.

  
How hard could it be?

  
Wait, Barry!  
We're headed into some lightning.

  
This is Bob Bumble. We have some  
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

  
where a suspenseful scene  
is developing.

  
Barry Benson,  
fresh from his legal victory…

  
That's Barry!

  
…is attempting to land a plane,  
loaded with people, flowers

  
and an incapacitated flight crew.

  
Flowers?!

  
We have a storm in the area  
and two individuals at the controls

  
with absolutely no flight experience.

  
Just a minute.  
There's a bee on that plane.

  
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson  
and his no-account compadres.

  
They've done enough damage.

  
But isn't he your only hope?

  
Technically, a bee  
shouldn't be able to fly at all.

  
Their wings are too small…

  
Haven't we heard this a million times?

  
“The surface area of the wings  
and body mass make no sense.”

  
\- Get this on the air!  
\- Got it.

  
\- Stand by.  
\- We're going live.

  
The way we work may be a mystery to you.

  
Making honey takes a lot of bees  
doing a lot of small jobs.

If you do it well,  
it makes a big difference.

  
More than we realized.  
To us, to everyone.

  
That's why I want to get bees  
back to working together.

  
That's the bee way!  
We're not made of Jell-O.

  
We get behind a fellow.

  
\- Black and yellow!  
\- Hello!

  
Left, right, down, hover.

  
\- Hover?  
\- Forget hover.

  
This isn't so hard.  
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

  
Barry, what happened?!

  
Wait, I think we were  
on autopilot the whole time.

  
\- That may have been helping me.  
\- And now we're not!

  
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

  
All of you, let's get  
behind this fellow! Move it out!

  
Move out!

  
Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,  
you copy me with the wings of the plane!

  
Don't have to yell.

  
I'm not yelling!  
We're in a lot of trouble.

  
It's very hard to concentrate  
with that panicky tone in your voice!

  
It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

  
I can't do this!

  
Vanessa, pull yourself together.  
You have to snap out of it!

  
You snap out of it.

  
You snap out of it.

  
\- You snap out of it!  
\- You snap out of it!

  
\- You snap out of it!  
\- You snap out of it!

  
\- You snap out of it!  
\- You snap out of it!

  
\- Hold it!  
\- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.

  
How is the plane flying?

  
I don't know.

  
Hello?

  
Benson, got any flowers  
for a happy occasion in there?

  
The Pollen Jocks!

  
They do get behind a fellow.

  
\- Black and yellow.  
\- Hello.

  
All right, let's drop this tin can  
on the blacktop.

  
Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?

  
No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

  
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.

  
\- Thinking bee.  
\- Thinking bee.

  
Thinking bee!  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
Wait a minute.  
I think I'm feeling something.

  
\- What?  
\- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

  
Bring the nose down.

  
Thinking bee!  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
\- What in the world is on the tarmac?  
\- Get some lights on that!

  
Thinking bee!  
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

  
\- Vanessa, aim for the flower.  
\- OK.

  
Out the engines. We're going in  
on bee power. Ready, boys?

  
Affirmative!

  
Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

  
Land on that flower!

  
Ready? Full reverse!

  
Spin it around!

  
\- Not that flower! The other one!  
\- Which one?

  
\- That flower.  
\- I'm aiming at the flower!

  
That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.  
I mean the giant pulsating flower

  
made of millions of bees!

  
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.

  
Rotate around it.

  
\- This is insane, Barry!  
\- This's the only way I know how to fly.

  
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane  
flying in an insect-like pattern?

  
Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.  
Smell it. Full reverse!

  
Just drop it. Be a part of it.

  
Aim for the center!

  
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

  
Oome on, already.

  
Barry, we did it!  
You taught me how to fly!

  
\- Yes. No high-five!  
\- Right.

  
Barry, it worked!  
Did you see the giant flower?

  
What giant flower? Where? Of course  
I saw the flower! That was genius!

  
\- Thank you.  
\- But we're not done yet.

  
Listen, everyone!

  
This runway is covered  
with the last pollen

  
from the last flowers  
available anywhere on Earth.

  
That means this is our last chance.

  
We're the only ones who make honey,  
pollinate flowers and dress like this.

  
If we're gonna survive as a species,  
this is our moment! What do you say?

  
Are we going to be bees, orjust  
Museum of Natural History keychains?

  
We're bees!

  
Keychain!

  
Then follow me! Except Keychain.

  
Hold on, Barry. Here.

  
You've earned this.

  
Yeah!

  
I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect  
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

  
Oh, yeah.

  
That's our Barry.

  
Mom! The bees are back!

  
If anybody needs  
to make a call, now's the time.

  
I got a feeling we'll be  
working late tonight!

  
Here's your change. Have a great  
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?

  
Would you like some honey with that?  
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.

  
Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.  
And I don't see a nickel!

  
Sometimes I just feel  
like a piece of meat!

  
I had no idea.

  
Barry, I'm sorry.  
Have you got a moment?

  
Would you excuse me?  
My mosquito associate will help you.

  
Sorry I'm late.

  
He's a lawyer too?

  
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.  
All I needed was a briefcase.

  
Have a great afternoon!

  
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,  
and I can't get them anywhere.

  
No problem, Vannie.  
Just leave it to me.

  
You're a lifesaver, Barry.  
Oan I help who's next?

  
All right, scramble, jocks!  
It's time to fly.

  
Thank you, Barry!

  
That bee is living my life!

  
Let it go, Kenny.

  
\- When will this nightmare end?!  
\- Let it all go.

  
\- Beautiful day to fly.  
\- Sure is.

  
Between you and me,  
I was dying to get out of that office.

  
You have got  
to start thinking bee, my friend.

  
\- Thinking bee!  
\- Me?

  
Hold it. Let's just stop  
for a second. Hold it.

  
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.  
Oan we stop here?

  
I'm not making a major life decision  
during a production number!

  
All right. Take ten, everybody.  
Wrap it up, guys.

  
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.


	10. Trumps startling fetish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trump may have trouble expressing emotion but he has no problem sharing his kinks. Will shadow approve or will this hidden fetish ruin everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry we haven't updated in a while, we really have no excuse but alas here it is.

Shadow was wating for the nonpresidential man to slam his small carrot into him whiile the entire bee movie flashed through his head. When he reaalized noting had hapened he looked up  
"My dearest president who only ever speaks the truth" Shadow said to the touped asshole on a stick "why arnt we fucking?"   
"I'll tell you why we arn't fucking" The horrible haired spray tan replied "we arnrt fuckin because the media lies and those lies are spread. I'll tell you, those lies are ruingin america but let me tell yOU" he shoved a small stumpy finger into shadows chest "i'll make america good again dont you worry"  
The blood red eyed edgehog thought that this was the stragest forepley ever.   
"okee" he said "can we have sum sex now my corn-haired orange friend" trump nodded then looked down in embaresmnt.   
"actually" he said "I cant"  
"okee" the spikey boy replied  
"I cant get hard" Trump.exe replied  
"okee" shadew said   
"unless you..." the tux wearing shit face replied  
"okee?" the hedgeheg asked  
"cosplay" the bankrupt billionare said nervously running a hand through his false hair  
"cosplay as wat" the beautiful bodied hedghod asked, a quesion lighting up his curious eye. Shedow had cosplayed befor with his friend. in fact he loved cosplaying. He hoped trump would ask him to coslplay as shadows favorite man, King Henry the VIII.   
"Well" the baby handed bandit said "I really like minions" Shadows mouth dropped. Minions?? he didint know what they were but they soundeed sexi.   
"okee" shadoe said with a shruggg as the honest goodhearted fellow took out some yellow paint and googles.  
"good" the trumpinator said with a tilt of those everso thin lips "time to get downn and dirty"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate my entire existence  
> -Sarah G


	11. F

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> F

F

 

F

 

F

 

F

 

F

 

F

 

F


	12. Minions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished finals and u kno wat that means ;)))))))  
> -Sarah R

__Shadown put on the outfit, the yellow paint stickinh to his fur, making it clump together and incredibly uncomfortable for shadow. But this was for his love, well, out of spite of him, that he was doing this. Shrek had destroyed him, and now he would do anything to forget the pain that had settled in his chest. At that moment, the orange man walked over to him "you look" he paused "beautiful..."

shadow blushed, the moonlight reflecting off his minion goggles and giving his now yellow fur a golden sheen. "You look like an orange" he said, the carrot man blushing at his compliment.

The blush suddenly turned into a smirk as the Tump man let his gaze flow over shadows form. He stepped closer, his harsh odor in Shadows nose. "It's almost like you aren't wearing those overalls" he purred in shadows ear.

Shadow blushed bright red, not that you could see it under the copious amounts of paint. "Why don't you see what it looks like for real" he said shyly.

"call me big hands" The carrot said his voice dropping to a sensual wisper in shadows ear as he drew back to see the trembling-with-arousal hegehog.

"yes big hands" shadow replied "please," his voice dropped to a wimper "fuck me"

Trump smirked "oh i will" he said pulling down his pants to expose his Trump Stump™.

**Author's Note:**

> why am i doing this  
> -Sarah R  
> @Sarah G ur turn buddy ;)))))


End file.
